This was possibly my favourite project from pursuing my Masters degree in Sexual and Reproductive Health. After Reading a whole pile of academic literature on the subject, I wrote this essay on the importance of pleasure to a persons sexual health and relationships. It’s an incredibly interesting and important subject. Pleasure-focussed health education is the way forward in sex education & relationships in our modern world (and IMO, it should’ve been the only type of education since the beginning!).
This is obviously not a quick & light blog article, but is fairly easy-reading, and very much worth a read and some reflection and conversation. This topic spans body image, social norms, gender roles, personal motivation and relationships, and is a part of many of our decisions and behaviours as human beings.
I’ll also add an apology, that some of the themes contained are at times heteronormative, due in large part to the heteronormative nature of much of the research I sourced at the time.
Pleasure is one of the best dinner party conversations that I can think of! ( …and for the Sex Geeks out there, the cited articles are listed at the end! Xx)
Read on, I hope you enjoy!
~Arlie
Sexual pleasure has been described as the barometer of sexual function and quality (1-3). While pleasure is understood by people, it is multi-faceted and difficult to define in empirical terms (4). Explored in this essay, will be the connection between pleasure and the sexual health of a person, in the context of a relationship and as an individual. First, Sexual health will be defined, followed by a discussion of the meaning and significance of sexual satisfaction and pleasure. Pleasure as a concept will be explored, with contributing factors and categories of pleasure presented. Finally, socialisation approaches to sexuality and pleasure will be discussed, with a focus on education, body image and gender difference. The performance and potential negative impacts of gender stereotypes on pleasure will receive special focus.
…Sexual pleasure is a barometer of sexual function and quality, with loss of sexual pleasure being the most reported effect of sexual dysfunction.
Sexual health has been communicated many different ways, with one such widely accepted definition coming from the World health Organization (2002) (5).
“Sexual health is a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being related to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. For sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected and fulfilled.”-WHO (2002)
Sexual satisfaction is a primary component of sexual health, with pleasure being one component contributing to sexual satisfaction (4, 6). As identified in the above definition, it is one of many influences on the attainment of sexual health. Much recent literature states a positive correlation between pleasure and quality of life, citing ‘lack of pleasure’ as the most common factor in sexual problems (2, 4, 7). Many sources identify a tendency for research and interventional treatments, until recently, to focus on sexual function (2, 4, 5, 7). However, Boul, Hallam-Jones & Wylie (4) describe this as treatment of the effect, while ignoring the cause; pleasure is an innate motivator for behaviour (4, 8). Dysfunction in the context of sexual behaviour could be attributed to multiple factors, beyond those treatable with a simple medical intervention (e.g. medication). Despite varied empirical definitions of what pleasure is, it holds many common components in the context of sexuality (4, 5). In a review of sexual behaviour and motivation, Boul, Hallam-Jones & Wylie (4) cite early study into the ‘pleasure center’ of the brain in the 1960’s, showing a primary neurological drive for pleasure, with patients voluntarily stimulating brain electrodes attached to certain areas of the brain, to elicit a pleasure sensation. However, they also indicate that cognition can augment or inhibit the pleasure response, for example, via previous experience, social learning or the willingness to engage with the stimuli (4).
Sexual satisfaction, throughout the literature, identifies two major categories of contributing factors; the individual and the relational (1, 3, 4, 9). Individual factors may include physical sensations, self-perception of performance, arousal, positive feelings, and achievement of orgasm; all factors felt and perceived by the individual person, and important to consider in non-partnered sexual activity (1). Relational factors include feelings of intimacy, mutuality of pleasure and desire, expression of feelings, pursuing desires and fantasies, and frequency of activity; experiences primarily involved in coupled sexual behaviour (1, 3, 4). Pascoal et. al. (2) indicates the inaccurate use of ‘pleasure’ as interchangeable with arousal and orgasm in much literature, stating that sexual pleasure manifests physically, emotionally, through cognitive process and in an experience of mind-body connections.
The concept of individual and relational factors in pleasure is expanded upon by Boul, Hallam-Jones &Wylie (4); hedonistic and eudemonic sources of pleasure as motivation for behaviour. Hedonism is a widely known mentality, and is associated with momentary, short term and self-gratifying behaviour; it is behaviour guided by immediate feedback and emotions, and is often free from critical thought (4). Hedonistic pleasures, or the avoidance of displeasure, are often used as a marketing tool for consumption of goods and services in society, because of the strong and often unconscious reinforcing feedback (4). Eudemonic pleasures are somewhat more long-term and ‘material’ in nature. Eudemonia can be described as pleasure gained from achieving goals or a greater good, involves outcomes such as gaining security, resources, personal connections or social standing; it may also involve aspects of exploration, validation, duty, power or control (4, 10). Hedonism is a journey, eudemonia is a destination. Much literature identifies males as primarily hedonistic and individualized, and females as eudemonic and relational in their motivational drivers (4, 11, 12). However, it can be suggested that the values associated with motivation are extensions of learnt gender stereotypes.
Hedonism is a journey
Eudemonia is a destination.
Sanchez et.al (10) identified women’s tendency for assuming submissive gender roles in hetero-sexual activity, regardless of partner expectation, often to the detriment of mutual sexual satisfaction. Interestingly, further observations showed that, despite popular stereotypes, many heterosexual men seek partners which do not conform to traditional female sexual roles; men reported greater interest and pleasure from less submissive women (10). Gender stereotypes have a strong and possibly damaging effect on sexual satisfaction; if the conformity to stereotypes is contradictory to a person’s own personality or desires, their overall pleasure experience will inevitably decrease (9, 10, 13). Elmerstig et.al. (9) cites study observations of a self-perpetuating cycle of male and female gender performance which ultimately lead to loss of personal satisfaction (pleasure) from casual sexual encounters between young people. Young men interviewed in the study felt a pressure in casual encounters to engage in traditional masculine roles during casual sex, against their own desire, because of fear of failure stemming from lack of intimacy; this lead to decreased sexual satisfaction (9). The same young men reported a greater quality of sexual satisfaction in an intimate relationship setting, as they felt able to ‘be themselves’ and were not afraid of making mistakes or appearing less traditionally masculine (9).
Be Yourself.
Traditional stereotypes of femininity guide and limit many women’s behaviour and perceptions in seeking and experiencing pleasure; assertiveness, desire, and actively seeking pleasure is often labelled negatively (6, 9, 10, 13). Many authors describe a tendency in traditional femininity to perceive the self as secondary to the partner (usually male), with many women’s main motivation for sexual activity being the benefit of their partners (4, 8, 13, 14). Satinksy & Jozkowski (13) conducted an experiment to explore this issue, and explain strategies to improve the transition of the individual female from being the object (source) of desire and pleasure, to the subject (the recipient); in this case, the receiving of oral sex from their partners. Female sexual subjectivity, and the associated increase in pleasure, was related to the ability to give explicit verbal consent, i.e. not just allowing the activity, but verbally asking for it; a proactive approach to addressing their own pleasure (13). The predictor of consent is a woman’s perceived entitlement to pleasure; their feelings of deserving, and expectation of partners receptivity (13). A second contributing factor was the woman’s self-efficacy in pleasuring herself; for the woman to effectively communicate her needs, it was beneficial for her to know her own body (13). The achieving of self-efficacy finds barriers in stigmas associated with pleasure-seeking behaviour, such as masturbation (10, 13). The promotion of women’s self-efficacy and feelings of entitlement to pleasure relate to behaviour and perceptions, and suggest changeable factors that can potentially lead to greater pleasure and sexual satisfaction. This indicates a need for sex-positive education and health promotion, and to promote greater open sexual communication between partners.
…Female sexual subjectivity, and the associated increase in pleasure, was related to the ability to give explicit verbal consent…
McGeeney (11) makes a case for a greater focus on pleasure in sex education for adolescents; gender stereotypes are further reinforced in the way young people formally learn about sex. Traditionally, sex education focused on the dangers inherent in sexuality; sexually transmitted infections, violence and unwanted pregnancy were the focus (11). While these issues are important, sole focus on the negative effects of sexuality, without exploration of the positive, normalizes negative experiences in sexual activity as to be expected (9, 11). In the absence of education about pleasure and egalitarian relationships, through learning about violence, pregnancy and contraception, girls are taught that they should say no to sex; that they will be the victims of male desire. Likewise, curious boys will draw their sexual knowledge from pornography, the media and the banter of their peers; sources which present an unbalanced, stereotypical and often sexist view of gender roles (9, 11).
Down with Gender roles!
The research surrounding both men and women suggest a need to address the role that gender plays in our sexual interactions. Despite social pressures to conform to traditional stereotypes, many studies indicate increased levels of relationship and sexual satisfaction among couples, when there is a balanced expression of masculine and feminine traits in both partners (9, 10, 12, 15). Barnett & Melvgin (12) observed that sexually experienced people, especially those in relationships, reported both increased sexual pleasure and less gendered role difference in their behavior. The same research identified that men and women experience pleasure to similar degrees, but the source of enjoyment may be different. The previously mentioned hedonistic and eudemonic sources of pleasure are influenced to a large degree by external factors, including age, ethnicity, relationship status and body image (12, 16).
Sexual Subjectivity =
The degree to which a person is the receiver, or destination (subject) of pleasure… rather than the giver, or source (object) of pleasure.
Sexual behaviour blurs the selves we portray in public, as it often requires us to be naked, or involves the crossing of physical boundaries carefully guarded in other settings; it risks a great deal of vulnerability for each person. Body image has been associated with various sexual problems, and is a limiting factor of pleasure experience (7, 12, 16). In a broader sense, negative body image can lead to eating disorders, self-harm, feelings of shame, depression and anxiety (7, 12, 16). Sanchez & Kiefer (16) indicate that along with the great incidence of body image disorders in women, the incidence in men is increasing; this is likely due to increased portrayal of ideal male body image in media. In a coupled sexual situation, anxiety about negative judgement by a partner is associated with decreased arousability and pleasure (16). This sexual self-consciousness can lead to numerous sexual dysfunctions, including arousal disorders, such as vaginal dryness, erectile or ejaculatory dysfunction, and can cause painful sex and inability to reach orgasm; all leading to decreased pleasure and sexual satisfaction (6, 8, 16). Sanchez & Kiefer (16) identify ‘Objectification Theory’, in which the western emphasis on physical appearance creates a self-objectification; seeing the self as an physical object, and ignoring the subjective experience of living and feeling. The cognitive preoccupation and self-objectification associated with negative body image reduces a person’s ability to relax and focus on pleasure, causing a decrease in performance and ultimately loss of enjoyment and pleasure (3, 16). In a focus group conducted by McBride (8), negative social stigma associated with certain sexual behaviours, such as anal sex, affected the ability of women to enjoy and communicate about them. Embarrassment and shame were often attached to such behaviours, despite enjoyment, which led to decrease in overall pleasure; another such behaviour could be masturbation (6, 8). These experiences identify the way social perceptions and conditioning further limit our ability to happily explore our own pleasure and those of our partners.
As identified by Pascoal et.al. (1, 2), sexual pleasure is a barometer of sexual function and quality, with loss of sexual pleasure being the most reported effect of sexual dysfunction. But, as described above, loss of pleasure can also cause dysfunction. Sexual behaviour and response can be observed within scientific and controlled laboratory settings, yet a working empirical definition for pleasure continues to evade researchers (4). One could suggest that this is a result of the reductionist nature of biological and controlled studies into sexuality. Thus, sexual health and pleasure should be viewed as complex and multi-faceted. Approaches to individual function should take into account the vast complexities informing each individual and society’s behaviour, habits, beliefs and traditions (3, 4, 6). Pleasure is well documented to be an effective motivator for behaviour and action; health policy and health interventions could benefit from this (3, 4, 8). As echoed by many sources, further health promotion, relationships and sexual therapy interventions would benefit from less focus on dys/function, and more on developing sexual satisfaction, pleasure, intimacy and healthy relationships between people (1-4, 9, 11, 12). This can be done by fostering improved communication, creativity, variety, frequency, quality and intimacy through a ‘sex-positive’ discourse (1-4, 9, 11, 12). Further examination and deconstruction of the limiting beliefs associated with gender stereotypes would also contribute to improved sexual health and satisfaction (4, 9, 12). A large portion of literature focusses on heterosexual people or relationships and, while there are many studies which take age and culture into account, it would be interesting to further explore the effect pleasure has on non-heterosexual or non-traditional relationships.
Bibliography
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